Monday, July 19, 2010

Transplant Trib Inks Monster Deal

MY DREAMS ARE COMING TRUE!

The other day, I was having lunch with my buddy Steve Jobs about this iPhone nightmare he is having right now, Oh, you didn't
know we were close? Yeah, in fact his mother and my mother went to different high schools together. Not only that, but he is an avid reader of this humble blog, not to mention we are both thankful transplant recipients ( he got a liver).

So, anyway, we were eating and talking, and suddenly his face lit up. "Hey, I gotta great idea! Why don't we do a deal?" he said.
"I need something to get our stock going back in the right direction. Why don't we announce that Apple and Transplant Tribune have linked up?" I thought about it for a while, like about 42 milliseconds, and exclaimed "S**t yeah, Steve-O, let's do it!" Notice I call him "Steve-O" like that dude on the old Hawaii Five-O ("Book 'em, Dan-O. Murder One"). And so with a firm handshake the deed was done.

And just what exactly IS the deal, Bob/Irv, you may ask. Well, Apple will announce tomorrow that Transplant Tribune will utilize exclusively Apple equipment. This nooz alone is sure to rock the NYSE and send Apple shares into orbit. At the same time, Steve has agreed to supply us with the needed equipment at very attractive prices, i.e full retail list. I hear you all murmuring out there
why would he do that? To that I say, stop murmuring and speak like an adult, please! Just kidding. But really, Google Transplant Tribune and you will see it is at the TOP OF THE LIST ahead of nearly 3.5 million other matching sites! How's THEM Apples for ya (Apples, get it?).

So your very own Transplant Trib is now the proud owner of not one, but TWO iPhones (just the old 3G) AND a brand spanking new MacBook Plus. I am writing this post on it as we speak, and I bet you didn't even know! And muchas gracias to Pat and Robin for saving our bacon when our old Fujitsu bit the dust by loaning us a laptop, allowing us to keep up this flow of horses**t to which you all have become hopelessly addicted.

I"M TOO COOL FOR SCHOOL

As a testament to the New Bob/Irv phenomenon, courtesy (partially) of UCSF, may I relate my accomplishments today? Oh, no, you may not, you say. Well "it's my party and I'll relate if I want to, relate if I want to, relate if I want to, you would relate too if it happened to you". I started out at Quest Labs, then home for brekkie. Off to cardiac rehab, then Nob Hill to shop for dinner.

A bit of lunch was enjoyed simultaneously with calling all over to pharmacies, doctors and of course the Heart Transplant Team. Then I jetted to the sprinkler aisle at OSH for repair parts and new furnace filters. These were expertly installed by your Editor/Publisher all by himself, and then I instantly swung into dinner prep. I cooked AND cleaned up, not to mention doing the dishes. And, I am now BLOGGING, which I do only for you, my readership. The old Bob/Irv woulda maybe got up outta his chair once or twice, while my dear Sweetie did most of the rest. Maybe not the sprinkler aisle, but you get my drift. It's a major miracle she is still around.

OK, that's about enough self-centered chest-pounding for now. Anyway, I am expressly forbidden to pound my chest due to my recent surgery.

Sorry for the messed up formatting on this post, but I have not as yet figgered out all this new-fangled Mac business. Steve J. promised to drop over Thursday for a one-on-one training session, so I got that going for me, too.

Thanks for playin'.

Bob/Irv
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RJ/Bob/Irv is a 61-year-old beloved husband, father, uncle, brother, motor racing fanatic, and Livermore resident who received a heart and kidney transplant in February of 2010. Bob's recent years have been defined by his health, which forced him into early retirement. Unfortunately, many of his days were spent in a dialysis center or at various medical appointments, primarily due to his living with diabetes for over 40 years. Numerous were panic visits to various Emergency Rooms all over California for treatment of chest pain. But now no more dialysis and no more late-night dashes to UCSF! The main focus of Bob's family, friends, and doctors has been a prompt transplant, so that he can get back to traveling with his Sweetie, driving fast cars, enjoying great music and laughing with his friends. This blog will function as a way to communicate with all interested parties and to keep everyone informed. And hopefully it can serve a great purpose also, in making people more aware of the importance of organ donation and how each life saved has a positive effect on dozens of related friends and relatives.