A New Feature

As I contemplate this edition of the Transplant Trib while awaiting the arrival of Roto Rooter (Hey, how did this happen if we weren't even living here? LUCY???? Were you partying in the kitchen sink while were away?) I am thinking about a suggestion Leslie made several weeks ago. I said I might have less interesting tidbits to blog about when I got home. Not to disparage being home (I am lovin' it) but it may not be the 24/7 Laff Riot that only a really big teaching hospital could provide.

So here is the deal; beginning today I will start posting Frequently Asked Questions (what they call on the 'net FAQ's) to address items of interest you may have out there in Readerland. This arrogantly implies that not only are folks reading this stuff but in fact they may have some curiosity about things I may not have dealt with up until now. Well, by my handy counter (thanks again Linzel) we know there have been over 4000 hits on this blog since November so I am assuming there are actual folks out there reading this. This doesn't necessarily mean you are loving it but unless you are having extreme side affects (which may include nausea, vomiting, boredom, shortness of pants or excessive drooling) at least we believe it is not HARMFUL.

So anyway for high-quality FAQ's we must have Questions that are Asked, and asked Frequently. So far I have not received any FAQ's so I thought I would make up a couple to kind of show you, well, how it works. To communicate your FAQ to me I have arranged (at considerable personal expense) several handy ways to reach me. I know that for some reason it is a mystery using the "Comment" feature on Blogspot (I too have not been successful commenting on Linsey and Andy's blog) so here are some alternatives:

1. Email (rjm6311@sbcglobal.net)
2. Carrier pigeon(you need your own pigeon for this one)
3. Snail Mail (1612 Broadmoor Ct. Livermore CA 94551)
4. Facebook ( Robert J. Moss)
5. Plane flying over our house dragging a sign with FAQ. Thanks Tiger for the idea.

And don't forget despite rising costs, increased content, and other stuff I can't think of at the moment the Transplant Trib is still at the low, low everyday price of ABSOLUTELY FREE!

OK then sorry, for the excess verbiage. Hopefully you have not fallen asleep while reading this monstrosity. Anyhow here are the first two phony FAQ's Leslie and I made up to sort of Prime the Pump so to speak.

FAQ: Hey Bob/Irv what is the deal with two first names? Are you so great you need two names to make you feel important?
Possible Answer: Well no, as many of you know my Birth Certificate sez "Robert J. Moss". My first few weeks at college I got into an issue with another guy around trading rooms with him. He was resentful and began calling me "Irving" as that name was often used in Mad Magazine referring to, well, kind of a dork. Humble apologies to all the genuine Irvings out there. I put a sign up on my door saying "DO NOT CALL ME IRVING". Naturally my fate was sealed with that stupid move. I started to be called Irving by everyone and introduced to people as Irving or Irv. At my campus job I was Irv, to Cheryl and her entire family I was Irv, to my friends I was Irv, but officially to The University I was Robert or Bob. In later business life I was Bob. To my cousins Mel and Larry Moss who knew me when I was just a toddler I was and still am "Bobby". Needless to say my dear Mother never, ever forgave me.

FAQ: Does it feel different with a new heart and kidney?
Actual Answer: Well, not as dramatically as you might imagine, but yes it is different and better. I feel my heart beating more often and faster than before. My pulse and blood pressure readings confirm this. I do not have Superman-type bursts of energy but I would say I am still in the recuperation period for a while. No I am not swimming to Alcatraz and back or entering the Bay to Breakers, but I wasn't doing any of that before and I am still kinda the same person albeit New and Improved. OK not exactly New but you get my drift. A couple of the better new feelings are those of driving right by the dialysis center without dropping in, and being able to hold my head up high as I answer Nature's Call as I used to three-odd years ago before treatments started. That is kinda neat in a certain strange way. The best new feeling is not physical but mental. I do not have the thought of Yet Another Heart Attack along with a mad late-night dash to the ED. Better yet the possible final outcome of one of those events is no longer hanging over me. No guarantees (you would think for all that dough they charge at least they would give you six months parts and labor on the new stuff) and yes I could get hit by a bus tomorrow but you what I mean, eh?

So there are some sample FAQ's to inspire you to make up some of your own. Or not. Once again I am doggone sorry to ramble on so much but one of the side effects of the transplant or maybe the drugs is a renewal of enthusiasm for many many things one of which obviously must be BLOGGING!

I think I may have used up enough of your valuable time by now. But I am now a Blogger; it's how I roll.

Bob/Irv